Terminus
by insertappropropriatenamehere
Summary: There is a reason why the Soul Society does not interact with the wizarding community. However, once the Ministry of Magic find out that the infamous 'Grim Reapers' still exist, they do everything in their power to find and wipe out the Shinigami.
1. Chapter 1

2stupid: This again? Well, we _do_ need to update….

Tensa-chan: Oh, no, not again.

2stupid: No pairings.

Tensa-chan: A better BleachxHP crossover than before, we hope. Yeah, right.

Summary: There is a reason why the Soul Society does not interact with the wizarding community. However, once the Ministries of Magic find out that the infamous 'Grim Reapers' still exist, they do everything in their power to find and wipe out the Shinigami. And once the Shinigami find out that the Wizarding World has been playing with dangerous soul techniques, they will stop at nothing to enact justice. A hidden war escalates between the Ministries of Magic and the Soul Society. What does a single lone Shinigami substitute and Vaizard have to do with this?

Disclaimer: The day I own Bleach is the day the world comes to a halt. Because then I will have taken over the world, which I will not do.

XxXxX

Prologue: How did things become this bad?

XxXxX

_Terminus: the end_

XxXxX

Of all people Ichigo would rather not work with, Soi Fong was one of them. However, since he was the only Shingami substitute with an identity that could move easily among the living and she was the head of the Soul Society's Onmitsukido.

He would rather work with someone like Hitsugaya, dammit! At least the shorty actually spoke casually while on a mission and wasn't Yoruichi-obsessed.

"What is this mission for?" Ichigo groused.

"Just act like a tourist and pretend I'm your older sister."

"That's not what I asked."

"You do not need to know."

Ichigo felt like ripping his hair out in frustration.

XxXxX

"Now, these 'beasts' are extinct, but they were intelligent, powerful, and organized, which pushes some to recategorize them in the 'being' group, but as they seem to be extinct, there is no real need to. They may look entirely human, but they were not; they believed their powers and their souls rested in their swords and that they were mythical beasts at heart. Thus, they acted that way, and a thousand years ago, Merlin defeated the last of them and won freedom for the Wizarding World away from the malignant Grim Reapers," Binn droned.

Harry fell back into a stupor as Binn droned on and on about Merlin's era. Hermione, however, looked frustrated, confused, and worried as she scribbled her notes. Harry and most of the class shot up in their seats when she suddenly raised her hand.

"Yes, Miss Gratcher?" Binns queried querulously, used to the odd behavior of the intelligent Gryffindor.

"What are these Grim Reapers and why don't we learn about them?" Hermione asked, confused.

"The Grim Reapers. A dark subject, indeed. They are a chapter of wizarding history many would like to simply forget. They are the dark monsters who thrived in the night by destroying the magic of wizards and capturing their souls, all while doing the same amongst the muggle population, which they hid themselves better from and are still commemorated in ignorant tradition and ritual," Binns droned, but his class remained alert.

"And?" Hermione queried.

"They wore black and used spells much like we do, but they were very battle-oriented and bloodthirsty. They worshipped their swords and killed indiscriminately if they took offense. For some reason, they thought they were dead souls given power and sent on a holy mission to kill what they called 'Hollows', or 'The Empty Ones'. We believe they were referring to Dementors. However, although they were long-lived, they could be killed- those spells are lost to us, however- and they did have limitations. They had awesome physical abilities, but were willing to kill even their own for their concept of a 'balance of souls'. It is believed they have a contract with Hell itself."

"Is that it?" a disappointed student, who had obviously been waiting for blood and gore, muttered.

"Yes, Miss Lavarty, it is," Binns snapped acidly.

"My name's not Lavarty," the student grumbled uselessly.

XxXxX

Ichigo was in a dark mood as he stared at the blank wall of his motel room in London.

"This place is crap," he grumbled. "Soi Fong won't even allow me to go out or contact anyone! I'm so bored!"

The bed gave a sad, defeated squeak as Ichigo threw himself down on it. "Why couldn't Rukia or Renji or someone else have come? They're qualified."

In the depths of his mind, his Hollow side snickered. Ichigo shoved the pillow over his head, wishing the entire ordeal were over.

"Shut up."

XxXxX

In the Ministry, all was chaos. Wizards darted from here to there, employing devices that had not been used in a millennium. And hidden, above the commotion, was a certain Second Division Captain.

Soi Fong sneered at the wizards' mess, allowing her reiatsu to flare. They couldn't even use reiatsu-sensing devices properly, she mused, watching as the nearest one gained a hold on her position. She easily shunpo-ed to a new location, now amused as the wizard banged his fist against the screen of his machine, sure that it was broken. Many of them were, she considered, as they either fizzed intermittently or showed up random signatures at will.

"The West is a mess," she murmured to no one. "I'm surprised we let it run loose for so long."

And with another discreet shunpo, she was gone.

Down in the heart of the Ministry, away from both the disorder and Soi Fong's prying eyes, the Unspeakables watched as a lone red dot beeped away from them and towards another one. As the two met, both suddenly stopped.

"We have a problem," Croaker murmured. Bode agreed silently.

XxXxX

Ichigo considered the numerous reiatsu-suppressing bracelets on his wrists, unamused.

"It's not my fault I never learned to hide my reiatsu," he complained, hoping to get the hell out of this godforsaken wet country and back to Karakura.

"Deal with it," Soi Fong snapped, considering the single bracelet she wore. All of them were based off the design recovered with Orihime. "Just be glad we can still sense reiatsu."

"What are you doing that requires _this?!_" Ichigo snapped, gesturing to the bracelets. "We're not even tracking anything down with significant reiatsu- I checked. Nary an Arrancar in sight, much less an Espada. Why don't you just have someone with you from your division or something? I'm sure they'd be happy."

"Because all of them were either born in Soul Society or have died a long time ago," Soi Fong said patiently. "You, however, have a record on hand. It's easier, especially when our targets can track reiatsu."

"WHO?!" Ichigo screamed in frustration. Their neighbors thumped on the wall in irritation.

"Shaddup, god damn ye! We're tryin' ter git sum sleep 'ere!"

"Wizards," Soi Fong said flatly.

"You're kidding me," Ichigo deadpanned.

"And now that you know, I'm going to have to kill you."

"No way!" Their very temporary neighbor banged on the wall and cursed again. Ichigo kicked the wall in retaliation.

"Unless you work with me on the investigation," Soi Fong finished.

"Fine!"

"Then come on." And within seconds, Ichigo found himself flying out the window, still in human form. "Let's go hunting."

XxXxX

Albus Dumbledore was not expecting to meet any odd characters on his walk to the Ministry of Magic's meeting to discuss their current troubles.

Therefore, when he saw an orange-haired teenager arguing with a woman that looked nothing more than a stereotypical ninja, his curiosity was piqued.

"-I'm telling you, I'm perfectly capable," the boy complained.

"No, you're not. You're still too immature and inexperienced. You don't have the discretion," the woman argued, stretching her hands behind her back before resettling the odd short sword she carried. Weren't those things illegal? Albus wondered for a second before returning his interest in them.

"I'm not a child- I've grown up. Let me prove it to you- I won't mess up or flop halfway through!" At this point, Albus was getting distinctly odd overtones to the entire conversation.

"Age is irrelevant. You haven't been trained," the woman snapped and the boy shut his mouth mulishly, a vein twitching on his forehead.

"Excuse me, but can you two give me directions to Joe's Eateries?" Dumbledore interceded.

"You can see-ow!" the boy yelped as the ninja elbowed him in the ribs and bent over double gasping for air. The woman turned around and addressed him directly in icy tones. "We're not from here actually, so you might want to ask someone else, jii-san."

"Thank you," Dumbledore smiled, bowing as was Japanese custom. This was something he had to report to both the Ministry and to the Order. His smile dropped as he hurried away.

XxXxX

AN: The more I read over this, the more I hate it. And I somehow can't bring myself to change it. Oh, well. This chapter was pretty short. Tell me if you want them to be longer.


	2. Chapter 2

2stupid: Now look what your reviews made us do.

Tensa-chan: OMG. We're actually updating.

2stupid: Why aren't we starting that huge-ass project we really, really need to do that's due tomorrow?

Tensa-chan: Because it's boring!

2stupid: Who else thinks Aizen looks like a girl?

Tensa-chan: ME!

2stupid: On another note, thank you to everyone who reviewed or otherwise read this fic!

Tensa-chan: Yes. We weren't expecting so much enthusiasm.

2stupid: Be nice!

Tensa-chan: Muahahahahahahahahaha!

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, the manga would break through the fourth wall as much as the Shinigami Zukan: Golden do. 'Cause they're hilarious as hell.

XxXxX

Chapter 1: Iglesia de las Bestias (Church of the Beasts)

XxXxX

Ichigo and Soi Fon stared at a wall. And stared. And stared. And stared some more.

The wall in question remained as it always had. Finally, Ichigo got up and poked it with a stick. After meeting initial resistance, the stick penetrated the wall after Ichigo poured reiatsu into it.

"Umm," he said eloquently.

"Hmm," Soi Fon agreed.

"Oh, are you two lost?" a plump redheaded woman trailed by seven children of various ages, five of whom had hair the same shade of red as hers. "Aren't you two a little old to be first years?"

"We're transfers," Ichigo lied through his teeth. "Could you help us? I'm afraid we're a little unfamiliar with customs here."

"Ah, yes," the woman smiled. "Can't be too cautious, supposedly with Grim Reapers on the loose now and whatnot, but can't be too paranoid, I suppose. This is Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. Just walk through the wall, luggage and all, dearie. You'll be fine."

Ichigo threw a desperate look at Soi Fon, who threw a look back at him that stated quite plainly, 'Get on with it'. Ichigo snarled silently, grabbed his bag, and stormed through, hand first.

And blinked, staring at the new station he found himself in. A few moments later, Soi Fon joined him and dragged him behind a column. "Whatever you do, don't reveal your status as a Shinigami," she hissed. "Or I'll sic Yoruichi on you!"

Ichigo blinked and nodded. Considering as he wasn't officially a Shinigami, that was probably the best threat Soi Fon could make; Yoruichi could be _scary_ when angry.

Mentally berating himself for ending up in this situation, he followed Soi Fon onto the train. Sometimes, he really wished he'd never had to become a Shinigami. As they entered a compartment and Soi Fon locked the door behind them, they could hear the sounds of numerous children boarding the train and searching for compartments.

"What are we doing?" he hissed. "I still don't know anything!"

"We're going to ride this to its destination, wherever that may be, and then we'll get off and get lost," Soi Fon replied.

"What about my body?" Ichigo said worriedly. "Do you seriously think that it's going to last? I woke up in a morgue last time, dammit! Scared the hell out of the workers there, too!"

"I informed Soul Society. They're retrieving it as we speak."

"Not in a coffin?"

Soi Fon ignored the sarcastic remark.

"You really have no idea where we're going, do you?" Ichigo demanded.

The train ground on into the countryside as the day wore on, a fat witch knocked on the door to their compartment several times before giving up, and Ichigo seriously considered learning the much-vaunted skills of zoning out.

XxXxX

Rukia poked at Ichigo's body.

"You know, doing this gets funnier every time," Renji said, pulling out a marker in a bright shade of pastel pink and drawing all over Ichigo's face.

"You do realize that's a permanent paint pen, right?" Rukia turned and began trying to find Kon. "Ichigo's going to _kill_ you when he finds out."

"Gah!" Renji yelped as Rukia finally found the pill-thingy that is Kon's true soul and shoved it down Ichigo's dead throat. "Maybe we should stick him in a coffin on the way back?"

"Not on your life!" the newly interred Kon screamed, thrashing around comically.

"You know, that just looks odd," Rukia commented as "Ichigo" burst into tears.

XxXxX

Dumbledore sighed as he Apparated back in front of the school gates. This mess would be troubling indeed, never mind the so-called teacher the Ministry had forced on him this year. Honestly, he could think of several dozen better instructors for the Defense position, but the Ministry had insisted.

Even Hagrid.

Pushing away the thought of the chaos Defense would be if the half-giant actually _did_ teach the class, Dumbledore turned back to the issue of security for the upcoming year.

If there really were Grim Reapers around, then he would have true security issues, indeed. For most of the Wizarding World, even the threat of a Grim Reaper was more frightening than Voldemort himself. Yes, one could die, but there was life after death, even if many didn't believe in it, and death of the soul was frightentingly finite.

As he entered school grounds, Professor McGonagall fell into step behind him. "There are two unidentified passengers on the school train, Headmaster."

"We can deal with them when they come. Right now, we have a more troublesome problem," Albus said, suddenly feeling older than he had been in fifty years. "Grim Reapers are on the loose again, or so the Ministry believes."

"I only hope that this is another of the Ministry's false alarms," McGonagall said evenly. "Otherwise this could prove troublesome."

"As do I," Dumbledore agreed, his mind briefly returning to the chaos at the Ministry. "As do I."

"On another note, Peeves has begun his yearly cycle of vandalism again," McGonagall sighed.

"Oh? And what did he break this time?"

"Nothing. He simply managed to seal all of us out of the Hogwarts Library," McGonagall pursed her lips. "Some students will be unhappy about that."

"And I'm sure some will be very happy, as well," Dumbledore mused, waiting as the doors to the Great Hall swung open. "Hogwarts may be built on a magically receptive site, but that doesn't mean that everything runs smoothly, hmm?"

XxXxX

Ichigo felt his jaw dislocate and stretch before it hit the ground. "This place is _huge!_"

Soi Fon ignored him, as always. "I see authority figures coming. Teachers, perhaps? Let's fall back into the woods."

More silent and deadly than any shadow, the two Shinigami slipped off into the trees.

Meanwhile, one Harry Potter looked up at the sky.

"Why do I feel like this is going to be a terrible year?"

"Don't say that," Hermione scolded as they got into their thestral-run carriages. "You'll jinx everything."

"Yeah, mate," Ron agreed.

Nonetheless, as they entered the Great Hall and saw a certain toad-lady sitting smugly at one of the chairs reserved for the teachers, Harry felt his heart sink down somewhere behind his shadow. The other side of the world, maybe?

"Yeah, it'll be a great year," he muttered sarcastically.

"Welcome back to school!"

XxXxX

AN: Watch out now. Everything canon (in the HP universe, at least) is going to go flying out the window. And in case you're curious, this is set in the fifth year. I find that year very useful, since so many concepts get thrown out on their heads in that book. This is also some time post-Soul Society Arc, set in the mangaverse (I have no access to the anime, especially not the fillers everyone else seems to be incorporating into their fics). I will probably add a certain little green comic-relief Arrancar in. Somehow.

XxXxX

Not-So-Final Bleach Cast (This is subject to change):

Major:

Ichigo

Soi Fon

Yoruichi, Byakuya, Hitsugaya, or Urahara (as support)

Minor:

Rukia

Renji

Hitsugaya (very minor: so far, only a cameo appearance in one chapter)

Marechiyo

The Vizard/Visored (all of them)

Not-So-Final Harry Potter Cast (also subject to change):

Harry Potter

Hermione Granger

Ron Weasley

All the teachers

Dumbledore

Ollivander

Voldie-kun!

The Death Eaters

Gregorovitch


	3. Chapter 3

2stupid: Here we go again.

Tensa-chan: Heh.

Disclaimer: Yes, I own Harry Potter, but not Bleach, so that is why this is a fanfic. And if you just believed that, you're a very gullible person. Most real authors don't go on fanfiction for various reasons, including the threat of plagiarism or idea plagiarism from reading the wrong fanfic. (Unfortunately. Some could learn quite a bit on this site from readers like us.)

XxXxX

Chapter 2: Amo, Amas, Amat (I love, you love, he/she/it loves)

XxXxX

Ichigo sneezed, and sneezed again. "I thing I'b allergig to duh these," he croaked out between sniffles.

On the contrary, Soi Fon looked as unperturbed as she did when meditating in middle of her office at the heart of the Second Division. "No, it's just the weather. Get used to it."

Ichigo hacked and gagged as a large, slimy lump of something he didn't really want to consider slid down his throat. "Guh."

"Shut up. You'll alert the forest to our presence," Soi Fon hissed almost inaudibly from her comfortable perch on a branch fifteen feet above Ichigo's head.

Ichigo sneezed again, then watched as some kind of starved-horse thing walked straight up to him and nudged his shihakusho, shaking its wings out.

Wait, wings?

With an inaudible shout, Ichigo jumped backwards, landing on a branch next to Soi Fon's. "What on earth are _those?!_"

"Magical abominations," Soi Fon spoke, her lips curving downward into a decidedly angry gesture. "Ignore them. They're harmless."

"They tried to eat me!"

"They're just curious. Come on, I want to see what's happening at the castle."

And that was how Ichigo found himself watching a bunch of schoolchildren feast themselves on odd-looking Western food.

"I'm hungry too now, dammit!"

XxXxX

Harry Potter looked up as something cold and wet dripped onto the back of Ron's hand. Ron blinked, then took his napkin and wiped the cold, viscous liquid off.

"I don't want to think about what it is," the redhead explained before shoving a turkey leg into his mouth as Harry looked up in worry about what else might come down from the ceiling- guano, perhaps? Was the spell enchanting the ceiling of the Great Hall running amok?

After considering the problem for a few seconds, Harry did what teenage boys do best; he ignored the problem and went back to eating.

Up in the ceiling, a rapidly warming Kurosaki Ichigo wiped his nose for the final time as he and Soi Fon crouched precariously on a rafter some fifty feet above the poor sod that he'd dripped on.

Distracted as he was by the spectacle below, he never noticed as Soi Fon drove a small, apparently innocuous spike deep into the wood of the rafter they knelt on.

XxXxX

We all know what happens with Umbridge's speech, so let's just move on.

XxXxX

"I can't believe that bitch!" Hermione snarled in fury. "First she barges in on the school, then she has the nerve to treat us like little children and bully us around? Who does she think she is?"

"Senior Undersecretary to the Minister, I bet," Harry said gloomily. "I knew this year was going to be a bad one."

"Well, I'm sure that someone out there's had more troubles than you," Ron said sympathetically.

Harry's mind flashed an image of a small, white-haired kid sitting in a field of ice and scowling at the world. "Probably," he agreed.

"So let's just forget our problems and go to bed, eh? I bet Umbridge won't even look at you, what with the roster Fred and George are planning this year to "Welcome her in". It can't be all that bad."

Oh, if only he knew just how wrong he was.

XxXxX

"My lord!" Lucius Malfoy ran into Voldemort's room, looking more panicked than the Dark Lord had ever seen him. "The Grim Reapers are loose!"

Voldemort fell a chill go down his spine. "Then we'll just have to defeat them, won't we?" he sneered with more amusement and confidence than he actually felt. Oddly enough, Malfoy appeared to be relieved.

"Yes, my lord."

"Then go."

XxXxX

The many mutant scientists of the Twelfth Division crowded around a single screen.

"It's planted!" one crowed.

"Yatta!" another cheered.

"Well, what are you doing then?" Kurotsuchi asked, lovingly caressing the hilt of Ashisogi Jizo. "Get back to work and analyze the reiatsu composition there!"

Once more, the Twelfth Division resembled the busy beehive of scientific knowledge it was famous for.

After all, when the Captain gives an order, one does not avoid it unless one has a death wish or particularly wants the Captain to experiment on one.

XxXxX

Dumbledore barely refrained from shifting uneasily in his seat as he felt the whisper of Hogwarts' magic ripple unhappily.

One of Hogwarts' wards had been breached. Which one? The intruders had obviously gotten in via a legal route, or else the wards would have reacted much more strongly.

Then he remembered Professor McGonagall's worry over two apparent intruders riding on the Hogwarts Express and calmed down. It was probably just some Muggles, then. Silly of him, to think that Grim Reapers might be the cause.

The rest of the teachers and student body continued eating, unabated, with student after student stuffing him or herself full. Finally, it was time for classes, and Dumbledore returned to his office to study the problem.

"Is there any problem, Headmaster?" Snape queried, watching Dumbledore from behind his overgrown bangs.

"Please alert the other teachers that there is a possible security breach," Dumbledore ordered. "Two unidentified people were on the train here but we can no longer find them. Please do not alert Professor Umbridge to this; there is no need for her to know. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to renew the wards against the Grim Reapers."

"Surely you don't need to?" Snape said, appalled.

Dumbledore smiled. "Better safe than sorry."

XxXxX

Soi Fon shifted irritable in her spot as a barrier covered the entire school. Under her fingers, the rough bark of the tree branch she knelt on warmed slightly to the rise in not-quite-reiryoku before cooling down again.

"Weak," she muttered scornfully.

"What?" Ichigo asked, dropping by. "Who?"

"The wizards have put up a barrier to keep Shinigami and Hollows out. Or in our case, in. It doesn't seem to be very strong, however."

"They did _what_?"

"If you use your zanpakuto, you should be able to get through." Soi Fon considered the conversation over and dropped down to stand on the ground. Ichigo simply twitched from where he was standing in midair.

Several seconds later, voices could be heard through the trees.

"I swear, the energy signatures are coming from there! They're so big!"

"Big as a dragon's?"

"Bigger!"

"Impossible, you liar!"

"Just wait and see!"

"I told you, there's nothing there!"

"What?!"

Of course, by that time, the two Shinigami were long gone. Ichigo wondered just how long they could continue to fool the wizurks or whatever they were called. (Wazzals? Waffles? Yeah, that was probably it… waffles. Surely it couldn't be 'visoreds', although that would have some sense of poetic justice to it….)

XxXxX

Snape and McGonagall reported to Dumbledore's office several hours later, covered in dirt, mud, grime, and, in Snape's case, thestral dung. Who knew the starved horse things could eat so much?

"Nothing, Headmaster," McGonagall said, her lips pursed.

"Nothing," Snape agreed.

"Nothing?" Dumbledore raised his eyebrow. "How does that explain your smell, Severus?"

Professor McGonagall made a choked noise of laughter; Snape merely snarled.

Several miles away, Ichigo sweatdropped as he saw the full-body imprint of a man wearing a dress in the middle of the largest, smelliest pile of crap he had ever seen.

"Be on the lookout, then. I believe there is something going on, Grim Reapers or no. Do not alert Professor Umbridge or the student body, however."

McGonagall and Snape simply bowed, recognizing the wisdom of Dumbledore's words.

XxXxX

Harry was asleep. Somehow, he was wearing heavy black clothing that looked like nothing so much as a cross between bloomers and a bathrobe.

He stood in a sideways landscape. Across from him was an older man in black standing on a sword that looked like an oversized cleaver.

"I can't believe the carrier would be you," the man muttered. "Remember my name: I am !"

"What?" Harry screamed, but he was already awake.

Back in the forest, Ichigo woke up. "That was one odd dream, Zangetsu."

Zangetsu didn't deign reply to such a mundane statement. He also refrained from telling Ichigo about the truth.

XxXxX

Nel sniffed. Hiyori and Shinji backed away slowly.

"I wanna Ithigo!" Seconds later, there was a pile of screaming ex-Espada tantrum on the floor.

"Are ya _sure_ Orihime can't fix her mask up?" Shinji whispered to Hachigen. "This is getting annoying."

"No, but I doubt she'd want to. Nel seems to be doing just fine as she is now."

Shinji made a face. "I gotta kill Aizen. Makin' more like us, geez. Why don't we just take her to wherever the idiot is-OW!"

"Ithigo ith not an idiot!" Nel screamed, digging her teeth in deeper into Shinji's right shin.

"Ow, dammit!" Shinji screamed. "Where the hell is that healer girl when you need her?!"

"Unfortunately, out of our reach by conventional means," Hiyori butted in. "You getta go with her all the way to England to find that idiot." ("Ithigo ithn't an idiot!")

And that was how Shinji found himself babysitting a baby ex-Espada on a twelve-hour flight sitting economical class.

"IIIIIITHIGOOOOOO!"

Damn. Sometimes, he really wished he were still some nobody idling his days out in the Rukongai, ignorant of the going-ons of the greater world.

And immediately squashed that thought. No matter how crazy his Hollow side got, no matter how wistfully insane his zanpakuto could be, this was his life now, for better or for worse.

Still, that Rukongai option sounded pretty nice, especially now.

"IIIIIIIIIITHIGOOOOOOOOOO!"

XxXxX

AN: The title was in Basic Modern Latin. It's present tense (thank god). There are forty tenses in the censoreded censoreding language.

Oh, and Hitsugaya's cameo was in this chapter! Cookies to anyone who can find it first!

Also, this is third-person omniscient pov, so please note that the story covers four/five major groups at once; Harry and co, Dumbledore and/or the Ministry and the OotP, Voldie, and Ichigo.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: After a long, long time, we finally update! We told you. :D

Disclaimer: We do not own. You sue, and you will disappear, to reappear in a very graphic way. :D

XxXxX

Chapter 3: Daijobu ka? Or something.

XxXxX

Hirako blinked. "I'd forgotten about the stupid pesky wizarding folks," he grumbled. Said stupid pesky wizarding folks were staring at him in awe and fear. Was it his clothing? His stance? The fact that he was standing upside down in midair?

Yeah, probably that last one.

"Stupid pesky superstitious ignorant wizards," he grumbled again. Nel, who was imitating him, squealed happily as he closed his eyes and concentrated on finding that damn brat's reiatsu.

"Ichigo is... too far for me to sense, damn it! Stupid wizards and their interfering magics!"

With that, the upset Vizard grabbed the former Espada and began the long trip back to Karakura.

Not really. He got out of there as fast as he could, put on a human persona, and lodged in one of the worst, seediest inns he'd ever seen.

"Throat penith!" Nel cheered randomly.

_What the?! _

XxXxX

Ichigo sneezed again. The weather was _cold_, damn it! To make things worse, a heavy fog that stank of human pollution had rolled in, blocking most of the sunlight.

"Don't they have spells to keep the pollution out?" he grumbled.

Soi Fon stared into nothing. "I do believe we accidentally destroyed that spell when we entered through the wards."

Ichigo choked on a mouthful of sooty air. "How do these people live with this? I hope they're replacing that spell soon."

The air cleared up, the water vapor remaining becoming a true, pale grayish white. "So we can destroy spells just by walking through them?"

"I believe our reiatsu actually cancels out the energy their wands create, much like how a stronger reiatsu overshadows a weaker one."

"Okay." Ichigo wasn't sure he understood the explanation, but it sounded reasonable enough. "So now what?"

"Someone will have noticed our passage by now," Soi Fon frowned. "The wards here are powerful, and they may already be looking for us."

"They've probably noticed that their wards came down."

Soi Fon looked like she wished he were Yoruichi. "They've already started repairing them, idiot. Or did you not notice?"

Ichigo blinked, suddenly feeling a little freaked out. "Does this mean we can't leave school grounds?"

"No, it means you don't move until you can sense where the wards are so you run into as few of them as possible."

Ichigo felt a little part of him whimper and die at the words. He was absolutely _terrible_ at sensing energy....

XxXxX

For one Hitsugaya Toshiro, life was ordinary. Paperwork, search for Matsumoto, find Matsumoto, yell at Matsumoto, more paperwork, watching Matsumoto sleep, listening to Matsumoto's excuses, avoid Ukitake-taicho like mad on the way home, drop asleep, hopefully wake up to find that the "avoid Ukitake-taicho like mad on the way home" and "drop asleep" parts weren't the product of his dreaming after spending the night in his chair…. It had happened before.

Hyourinmaru snickered in the back of his mind at the recollection. Hitsugaya ignored him.

Wait, why did he end up with Second Division's paperwork as well?

Matsumoto and Marechiyo went drinking often. Matsumoto accidentally broke something of Marechiyo's. Marechiyo was a lazy bastard-

"MATSUMOTO!!!!"

"Yes, Shiro-chan?"

Hitsugaya felt a vein pop in his forehead as he lifted Second Division's paperwork. "Just because Marechiyo-fukutaicho blackmailed you into doing his paperwork doesn't mean it ends up on my desk. It's your responsibility."

"Eh?" the woman had the gall to actually look astounded. "How did you know about my bet with Marechiyo?"

Hitsugaya twitched. "Well, I'm not doing this for you, Matsumoto."

"Awww!"

"And the puppy dog eyes won't work!"

"But taicho-!"

Hitsugaya refrained from the urge to throw the paperwork at his lieutenant's head. "Too bad. I don't care."

Sulking, Matsumoto took the paperwork. "Oh, and Yamamoto-soutaicho wanted an audience with you fifteen minutes ago."

_Fifteen min-_ Mentally cursing Matsumoto, her ancestors, and her possible descendants out, Hitsugaya shunpo'ed out as fast as he could.

XxXxX

The innkeeper's name was Tom, Hirako noted in the back of his mind as he moodily sucked down another mouthful of the crap that passed for food here. The whole inn- graced with the rather odd name of "The Leaky Cauldron" (wasn't the whole point of names to entice visitors, not repudiate them?)- stank of magic. Hirako risked a glance at Nel and gagged on something soft and slimy.

"New?" Tom asked gruffly. Hirako gave him a _how could you tell_ glare. "Three up, two across."

What the hell? Were all British people this weird?

Before he could say anything, the bartender sighed and muttered something incomprehensible and probably derogatory under his breath. Without another word, he marched into the dirty lot of grass and, well, dirt; Hirako, sensing something was up, grabbed Nel without another word ("I want my breakfatht!" "What the hell is 'breakfatht'?!" "Breakfatht, pervert!" "OW!") and followed the man.

The barkeep very obviously and exaggeratedly pointed out a pattern in the bricks above what appeared to be an old trash can, and the wall turned into a random gateway. Hirako wasn't impressed.

Well, it still solved all his problems, so he stepped into the place, trying not to lose his way through the throng of busily shopping people.

Someone stepped on his foot, and a minute later he was shoved into a wall, hitting his head hard enough to see stars. Nel cheered and clapped like an idiot.

Stupid wizards.

XxXxX

Harry sighed as he stared at the Marauder's Map. A great chunk of the castle was missing, centered around where the Great Hall would have been. He shook it in vain.

"D'you think maybe the magic's going?" Ron asked, poking it.

Harry shoved the map back into his trunk with a curse and dropped back onto his four-poster. "I'll ask Dumbledore."

"G'luck with that, mate." Faint snores told him Ron had fallen asleep in record time, or maybe he was just tired of the conversation.

Harry gave one last glare in the general direction of the Map and went to bed.

XxXxX

Done! Sorry for the hideously long wait. I got halfway done, then I had to go to this orientation thing to register for classes and etc. for my new college (Stanfurd sucks!) (yeah, they really indoctrinate you early...), and then I went to China. Three weeks, one of which was spent in Shanghai during the hottest four days of the year there, one of which was spent on a tour bus searching for the next shitty hole-in-the-ground "toilet" at the nearest Sinopec gas station or staring at yaks (and goats), and one in the cities of Dalian and Lushun, which are basically the Chinese equivalent of the Twin Cities, St. Paul/Wichita, except they're a major trading port/fishing center/naval base and I ate so much seafood (no salmon) I got diarrhea.

No, seriously. It all happened.


End file.
